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Yule-O-Ween
Though every year the Christmas products come out earlier and earlier at our local Fred Meyer, this is the first year that Halloween decorations, and Christmas decorations were put on display at the exact same time. Children were naturally confused. "Mom, why does Santa look like a skull?" I have decided enough is enough, that it is time to get it over with and just combine the two holidays into one. Yule-O-Ween.
I realize that both holidays have significant religious meaning. Christmas celebrating the birth of the Christ child, and Halloween, the, um, uh, birth of pumpkins. And people should continue to observe the holidays for those purposes, but let’s face it, Santa, reindeer, elves, decorated trees, carved pumpkins, and ghoulish costumes are not really religious inspirations.
Yule-O-Ween will be celebrated on Thanksgiving, making it the holiday trifecta. Naturally, the stories we've told kids about the holidays will have to change a bit, but if they go to Fred Meyer, they won’t have any trouble believing what you say.
CHILD: Dad, what is the meaning of Yule-O-Ween?
FATHER: Glad you asked that Billy. Every Yule-O-Ween Santa Scissorhands reviews his list of which little boys and girls have been naughty and nice. Then, on Yule-O-Ween eve his tiny reindeer pull his pumpkin through the sky. And he gives Reeses peanut butter cups and Hershey bars to the good little boys and girls, and he lops off the heads of the bad ones and they are tormented by demons.
BILLY: Cool! Dad could you sing me a Yule-O-Ween carol.
FATHER: Why of course Billy:
You Better Watch Out
You Better Not Cry
You Better Not Pout
I’m telling you why
Dracula is coming to town
Sure, there will be some adjustments to make. I know all of us will miss seeing for the 40th time the Christmas special where some elf wants to be a dentist and Rudolph the red nosed reindeer saves his wimpy hiney. Although thinking about it, I guess the special is as applicable to Yule-O-Ween as it is anything else. Heck, the Grinch who Stole Christmas actually is more relevant to Yule-O-Ween than Christmas. So there goes that theory.
I'm thinking, no gifts, but as the kids go door to door dressed as shepherds, saying "Trick or Figgy Pudding" imagine their joy as they get green and red Butterfingers put in their stockings.
If for no other reason, eliminating the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" will make this concept immensely popular. And NO FRUIT CAKE!!!
Thank you Fred Meyer!
