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Enraptured
Self proclaimed minister, and former civil engineer, Harold Camping, created a storm of controversy predicting The Rapture would take place on May 21, 2011. Mr Camping had years before predicted the end of the world in 1994 but by 1997 conceded he may have been wrong about that. My best guess is that he got all messed up in the “Thirty days hath September, all the rest I can’t remember” rhyme, hence the goof. For some reason I always think June has 31, and Leap Year! What the heck is that! Anyone could have made a similar mistake.
However, Mr Camping was real sure about May 21st creating the odd situation that he no doubt was genuinely disappointed that at 6:00 that evening he wasn’t engulfed by flames from a chasm in the earth and swarmed by frogs. Much like how I felt before the obligatory post 50 colonoscopy.
Missing again appears to have lessened Mr Camping’s credibility, despite his theological retort “third times the charm!” And I wonder if he has considered how his predictions have impacted the common man? Like me.
The week before I had contacted my neighbor, Brad, who seemed more likely than most to be whisked away to heaven. While somewhat unusual for us to have a spiritual discussion, those were certainly unusual times. Our conversation went like this.
GREG: Brad, I’ve been thinking about his rapture thing, and it seems like you and Jo are likely to be floating to heaven on May 21st.
BRAD: Well thank you Greg, and Jo and I think it is likely that Janine will be as well.
GREG: Janine and........?
BRAD: Janine, and, er, Scout, your grandpuppy.
GREG: I get your meaning, which is why I have a theological question for you that maybe you can help me with.
BRAD: I’ll do my best Greg, don’t be shy, go ahead.
GREG: Well, with hordes of locusts coming down, and legions of frogs, and little bitty dragons, and stuff, I need to prepare.
BRAD: That is for sure!
GREG: So to prepare, I was hoping I could grow as a person, reach out, and have your barbeque. I mean, you won’t need it, and it seems to me all those little varmits would taste better barbequed, especially on your new Weber, which is a beaut!
BRAD: The end of the world is a week away, and all you can think about is getting my BBQ after I’m gone?!!?
GREG: Actually I was wondering if I could take it over to my place tonight. I mean how much use are you going to get out of it, and I could sure use a hand getting it set up.
BRAD: NO *&#*&%$ WAY.
I felt bad, accidentally causing Brad to say those words. Sure enough, May 21, 6:00 Brad was still here, grilling steaks, and looking for Jo.
