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Fore!!!
It has always been my belief that there is a purpose, or reason for man's progressive accomplishments in technology. A reason that we have developed tiny microprocessors and data chips, a deeper meaning in the sophisticated computer hardware and software created over the decades, some noble unstated goal in all this science. And finally, after having pondered that question for years, and seeing current advances, I know the answer. We can finally, at long last, create a golf ball that does what you tell it to. That is the reason why.
As all of you golfers know, since the dawn of golf every golfer talks to their golf ball. Go on any golf course anywhere and you'll hear shouts of "GO LEFT, LEFT" or "RUN, RUN" or "STAAAHP" And every time the golfer is sadly disappointed because the ball never listens. Ever. But that is a thing of the past! The time is now for a voice controlled golf ball using a mini computer, tiny jets, and voice recognition software.
DRAGON
Based on my own personal experience, I would like to suggest to the golf ball manufacturers some companies NOT to use in this design. The most often used voice recognition software is Dragon Naturally Speaking. In theory the computer learns your voice by having you read certain treatises to the computer, then the computer can transcribe your voice. Here, I’ll show you how well it works by using it and will repeat this exact sentence. "Hair, I'll go you how smell it quirks bye abusing it anvil defeat this compact sentence."
You get the picture. Imagine then three golfers, Bob, Paul, and Hank, using a Dragon Naturally Speaking ball.
BOB: Hi guys, just got a sleeve of voice balls. I need to read the declaration of independence to my golf ball, so go ahead to the driving range, I’ll meet you at the first tee.
PAUL: Yea, I already read the first chapter of Tale of Two Cities to mine. I think it liked it.
HANK: Cat in the Hat. I have a younger golf ball. (On the first tee)
HANK: Nice drive Bob, but looks like it is going too far.
BOB: No problem, here we go. BRAKE, BRAKE
Paul: Oh no, its heading to the lake!
BOB: Sheesh. RIGHT! RIGHT!
HANK: It is gaining height
BOB: I need to retrieve it and try another ball. COME TO ME, TO ME
PAUL: Incoming! Duck!!!
BOB: TO ME, TO ME AHHHHHGH
HANK: Man, that knee looks bad, better have it looked at Bob......
Sure, there will be a few little bugs to work out, like any other piece of technology, but luckily I am sure there will be technical support.
BOB: My golf ball hit me in my knee.
TECHNICAL: No our support is not free.
