May I Pet the Moose?
by Greg Lawless

The first week of October Janine and I were lucky enough to be invited to join some good friends at their lovely summer home on the East coast of Maine. I have never been to Maine before and discovered it to be one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen, particularly in the fall when the leaves make the Maine forests absolutely magnificent. I would recommend that trip to all of our clients, and thought I might improve your experience by giving you some insider information about the state of Maine.

THE LANGUAGE

Arguably people from Maine speak primarily English with a few nuances. For some reason natives from Maine have a profound and passionate distaste for the letter "R" and will not pronounce it no matter what. So, for example, the lovely town of Bar Harbour is pronounced "Bah Habah".

In addition, Mainers see no need to clutter a sentence with unnecessary words, like, for example, verbs, conjugations, adverbs, or gerunds. That, along with the hatred of the letter R can lead to some interesting conversations. For example if you take a sentence often used in casual conversations "The Brown Bear went to a Bar to drink a Beer". In Maine it would be pronounced "Bah Bah Bah Bah". Apparently the inflection is key.

LOBSTER POUND

As you travel through coastal Maine you will see numerous places called "Lobster Pounds". I have never heard of such a thing, and assumed they were like our dog or cat pounds. A place where orphaned or abandoned lobsters can be adopted as exotic pets.

We went to a lobster pound to see what it was like. As soon as I entered, I saw a big tank full of lobsters. The manager of the pound asked if I wanted to buy a lobster. (His exact words were actually "Bah Lobstah"). "Sure" I said. "And I will name him Billy". We were then invited to sit down and enjoy the view of the boats in the bay. ("Bahts in Bah"). A few minutes later, the following conversation took place.

MANAGER: "Hyah Lobstah"

GREG: "Oh my stars, what have you done to Billy!!!!"

MANAGER: "Bah, bah, bah, bah"

GREG: "I don’t care if a brown bear went into a tavern to have a beer, Billy wasn’t that red when I last saw him!"

MANAGER: Bah.

After things calmed down, and I actually tasted Billy, things were fine. But I would caution against actually naming your lobster when you go to a lobster pound.

While things in Maine are a little different than Seattle, we found the people gracious, the State lovely, and the vacation wondebah.