Two Nice Days
by Greg Lawless

 My clients who are Seattle residents may have noticed that so far in 2008 we have had two nice days; the rest are somewhere between awful and miserable. To help deal with the gloom, I am sharing some of my favorite Seattle weather jokes.

An observant chap died one day and was waiting in a very long line for judgment. He noticed that some people, after they went through the line, were able to go through Heaven's Gates. Others were lining up behind Satan who was throwing most of them into the eternal fires of hell. Every once in while, though, instead of tossing a poor soul into the fire, he would toss him/her to one side. After watching for hours, the fellow could not resist. He gave up his place in line and went over and tapped Satan on the shoulder. "Excuse me, sir," he said. "I'm supposed to be in line for judgment, (he didn't want Satan to mistake him for someone who had already been condemned to hell) but I couldn't help but wonder why some of these people are being tossed aside instead of into the fires of hell?" "Oh," Satan said with a snicker. "Those are Seattlites. These days they're too wet to burn".

One evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy."

After the airline pilot had managed to land his plane at SeaTac -- albeit bumpily -- following a descent through exceptionally heavy weather, he came out of the flight deck to bid his passengers farewell as they gratefully entered the jetway on their way back to terra firma. The most memorable comment he received was from a little old lady who asked him politely whether he would please satisfy her curiosity on just one point: "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

How to predict weather in Seattle: If you can see Mt Rainier, it's going to rain. If not, it already is.

An honest Seattle weatherman says, "Today's forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm wrong."

Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.

Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water. .